For those of you with a sceptical mind with regard to the spiritual world. Please avoid reading this one and I’ll see you in my next blog xxxxxx
On Wednesday, I had a bit of an emotional meltdown, privately. Please note, this is not a ‘poor me’, I do not see it this way. This is my journey, a new chapter in my life. But it’s my story. I don’t want the tea and sympathy. I might welcome a hug, or two, but I don’t need to sit and talk it through. I have people in my life, facing daily struggles with their health, their battle is the courageous one. I would not want anyone to soak up my heartbreak over my parents – my parents, my journey. (I’ll come back to this later). I decided to contact a Clairvoyant I’d met once before, as she’d impressed me the first time. Plus she had a beautiful cat, called Monty.
As I knew my parents had an Occupational Therapist at the house yesterday morning, I knew I had a chance to go and have a reading. She was taken aback when I asked her where ‘Monty’ was…. She’d forgotten me, but it was a while ago and she’s a popular lady. (Monty was in the garden, he peered through the French doors later on, during my reading).
She held my ring, most special to me. Immediately, she said there was a blonde, smiley boy, with a great sense of humour. My tears started, so much for a poker face! She said that he was my brother, spirit side. He was telling me to be kind to myself. Just to know Sacha was beside me, gave me the greatest comfort. He was saying that I must not “stand in Dad’s shoes.” When the clairvoyant asked me if I knew what he meant, I did. He kept saying I must protect myself, be there, but not “own it.” My brother was holding a book, he told me to keep writing. This was inspirational.
The Clairvoyant then talked about my Dad, saying he was very unwell right now and his body was completely exhausted. She said he was a deep thinker. This is certainly very true. She said he’s at a difficult time in his life, where decisions need to be made. She also said that it would be a good idea to get his heart checked. (I know I cannot ring the surgery and say my Dad’s heart needs to be monitored due to my Clairvoyant’s advice! But I will take a more subtle approach and it will be checked).
She then went on to my Mum. She said she’s a very “strong and hard woman, yet was never like this before.” Bingo! She said that my Mum was suffering from dementia, but in denial. Oh yes. She said that she was exhausting to my Dad’s poor health. She said she’s a lively character, who will keep life “interesting” as the dementia takes hold. Marvellous! She said she saw a move in the early spring and that they currently live in a house with a garden that I’m not happy about. Absolutely. Although my parents’ garden is easy to maintain, it has steps which I worry about. Only the other day, Mum had a graze on her hand. When I questioned her about it, she had tripped in the garden. This scares me so much.
The Clairvoyant went on to say that there was a “little woman, in stature.” She was holding a metal rod, she was offering me support and strength to my backbone for difficult times ahead. This little woman was soft and gentle and she was saying how much she loved me. This was my Grandma R, my Dad’s Mum. Again, a lovely feeling of comfort swept over me. She was the most loving person, who doted on us all. She’d suffered a total of seven miscarriages during her lifetime, making my Dad, her only child, that extra bit special. When I had my three miscarriages, all those years ago, she was very prevalent during those times. Then there was another woman, who was taller, in stature, a very smart woman. She was very present around my Mum right now. Hello Grandma G! I’ve planted my flower pots, alright?! She went on to say that this woman was holding keys. She said that they were keys to a new home for my parents. I disagreed, I knew they were Vauxhall Viva keys and my Grandma was ranting about the Fit to Drive assessment which took her daughter off the road!!!
At the end of the hour and half visit, I had my tarots read. There were many things, but I will keep some of this personal to me. However, I’d chosen the Hermit card. The Clairvoyant told me I have a habit of taking the world and its problems on. (My daughter is forever telling me off for this). She said that the Hermit card was telling me to concentrate on my family and not take on others’ troubles. If I don’t, I’ll burn myself out.
So. when I mentioned earlier about not taking on my heartache, this is so important. I appreciate you all reading this, love you all for it, but it’s very much my journey. We can be there for others, but we must protect ourselves from their pain. I’ve been told in the past, to visualise a bubble, you’re listening to someone, yet your emotions are surrounded by a protective bubble. I’m going to do my best to adapt to this, as I feel I’m grieving for my old, previous parents right now. I need to live this process and protect myself from other influences. I hope someone ready this can empathise. It’s easy to take on everyone’s struggles, but it can leave us emotionally exhausted. Protect yourselves people, it should never be considered selfish, just self-preservation. xxxxxxxx